Last night was a sleepless one.
So many things to worry about, and so many things I thought I had to fix.
Around 3 am I started reading a book that spoke to me as clearly as if I had talked to it about my worries and my need to fix things and people, situations and circumstances.
I realized that the intention of being helpful can simply mean violation of another's solitude, which should be "protected, bordered and saluted", as Rilke writes.
People can and must come to life in their own way or time.
Not only our children, which we tend to label and mistreat, only because they don't "fit in the system"... But also our friends, partners, parents, collegues, neighbours...
"What is before us is not a problem to be solved but a mystery to be honored.", as Parker Palmer writes.
If we give the people around us an open, trusting and trustworthy space, they will learn that they can trust their inner teacher, inner wisdom, their soul, themselves.
If we trust in each other's soul, its reality and power, its self-sufficiency, its capacity to speak truth, if we welcome it with no demands, no "change agenda", if we stifle any impuls to fix each other up, only then will we be completely present. And only then will we realize that presence is all that is needed.
"We grow toward true self in a space where our growth is not driven by external demands but drawn forward, by love, into our own best possibilities." (Parker J. Palmer again)
Again: unconditional love.
It's funny how again and again my life, different books by very different authors and belief systems, as well as my own heart give me the same answers to so many different questions.
I didn't sleep last night, but I spent today in a new awareness and it felt so much better than 8 hours of sleep and then back to where yesterday ended…